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Praise Box

by The Plastic Arts

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1.
Here we are Two bodies trying to make it the same as we had in mind Through the fog of my own I hear you moan far away Feel the pace picking up and it's more than I can take Cause I talk a big game and then I don't I talk a big game and then I don't I talk a big game and then I don't I talk a big game and then I don't Hear me out Help keep the calm in my caress If my fears won't stay out of mind I'm eager to learn Keep talking me through Taking turns Till I'm nearly out of breathe Keeping me hot for teacher Cause I talk a big game and then I don't I talk a big game and then I don't I talk a big game and then I don't I talk a big game and then I don't Who'd I think I was fooling I barely know what I'm doing I can feel my youth after every mistake I can feel the bonds on me ready to break I dropped my guard at the entry Don't use my weakness against me Who can blame a young man for paying his dues Treat this like a gift not a favor from you Hear me now If I'm telling this story like the rest If you hear something out of line If I'm bending the truth I do cause I'm young It's out of youth Maybe all my stories stop knowing you have my secrets Cause I talk a big game and then I don't I talk a big game and then I don't I talk a big game and then I don't I talk a big game
2.
My Apologist 03:43
Won't see my crying or nothing I can't live my life in a cast Won't shack up and wait by the phone Cause believe me baby I can walk alone I could burn my bridges down I could leave the Catalinas And live my life in a car Just a creep in his car moving slow As he drives my your home You wouldn't believe how wasy I get blown away But if you're my friend You'll be my aplogist You'll say he just wanted more than I offered But if you're my friend You'll be my apologist And it won't be that much different from where I am now No it won't be that much different from where I am now When I sing this song you can sing it back You can sing it loud You can sing it flat or alone Or alone But if you look I will be gone I can't live my life at home You wouldn't believe how easy I get thrown away But if you're my friend You'll be my aplogist You'll say he just wanted more than I offered But if you're my friend You'll be my apologist And it won't be that much different from where I am now No it won't be that much different from where I am now
3.
I just don't care what it's called But the feeling is gone Not what you came for to hear Just stating the obvious I'm feeling like I failed to form the bond that you did No point in dragging it out I know where this goes From something we both forget To a song that I wrote Just singing bout the things I thought to do but never did I see the cards and I call em It's the only thing honest I've done in a long, long time The guilt was breaking me up So why the hell put if off for as long as I did Back to the life that I knew And the routine I left Keeping my schedule under rule of the bars and its hours Where went all the reasons for jumping off this carousel when I did I feel the same as I was No point in changing because I just fall into this role I'll be much better in the long haul for leaving it all Before the mellow gets hold Before my kettle gets cold I tried to see my role for what it really I tried to want you back but I feel like I'm done It's all the same to me if I figure it out Or of I stay in this hole I'll go to play the role of the star I'll become And fumble through the motions I make cause I'm dumb I barely believe I'm fit to make it so I'm Just gonna fake it and fold Maybe I'm better alone I think I'm better alone
4.
I'm late to discover there's a booth in the corner looking dumb They look at me nervous like they're waiting for service to come It's my fault I admit for the wait when I get where they are And I take menus over but they've already ordered from the bar Such a stupid thing to recall Such a stupid thing to recall But who am I to complain I'm the server here I'm the one getting paid for their time and for taking the blame Blow it off or be late But let's get something clear I'm the one getting hurt if I'm skirting the work just to play When my customers call me The smile that is on me is a wig Because no one here works We're just milking the perks of the gig Yeah, the boys always chasing the girls who go shaking their hips For the regular lonelies who get flirted with only for tips Such a stupid thing to recall Such a stupid thing to recall But who am I to complain I'm the server here While the others are leaning I'm dreaming of making it big Do enough to get paid Hammer that check when it clears If it hasn't been voided to pay the advances you take One more years one more reason to fail One more weight at the end of my scale One more poison to pour in my glass I can see how it all comes to pass after I disappear They replace the old and pour in the mold Whoever they've hired to fill in the hole Nothing changes when I go away They stay the same
5.
Squandered all my love on a lady Used up all my luck as a baby I was saved from the cold of the casket And placed in a basket of reeds They carried me out of my port in the reeds to the court of the King Bred to live a life that was special Bound to be with all the potential Now I'm in the back cutting rails The unmistakable nails of its grip I'm buggin out of my nose To the end of my toes from the drip Where went the road that I had underneath when I started Wandered away from the path on the course that I charted I made up my mind when I left Knew the risk I could leave broken-hearted Still blew a kiss and departed Blame it on the way that they raise me Soft from all the praise that they gave me I grew up to have every advantage And still barely manage to live Unless the effort I need can be bought I just know I ain't got it to give Where went the role I was meant to have starred in Wasted away for a taste and then kicked out the garden I'm standing in line with the rest that the test of opportunity pardoned She blew a kiss but then hardened I'm eating the dust of the other contenders I'm equally damned through defeat or surrender I should've been raised to compete but I'm tender And I can go down with the boat just long as I know I'm remembered
6.
Before I lose my nerve I think it's time to go Packing my bags then we'll hit the road To Berkeley, California for the sort of life I've longed for My habits and my friends are bring me down I'm ripping up the roots I buried in this town I'm jumping off the hook that pulled my peers in for the long haul But misery loves company it keeps them at the table They're buried in their drinks that keep them married to the fable But I don't know what for I'm taking my job from the guy who quit He finally told the boss he's tired of this shit The life that he's leaving is my inheritance I wander through the streets until they feel like home Going through the motions until they're in my bones Putting in the work it takes to forget where you can from But something looks familiar in the faces of the locals I wonder what they wish for when they're staring out the windows But I don't know what for But I don't know what for Let the music sing it I'm jumping off the clock and meeting up with friends Drinking up a tab until the service ends Try to get the room to stop its spinning but I want more Mourning what I want but I could never get The laundry list of deadlines that I never met All the noble work I left abandaoned after false starts Try to come to terms with what I already knew before Maybe this poor man's San Francisco ain't the paradise I hoped for Maybe this poor man's San Francisco ain't the paradise I hoped for
7.
If the words will not come out If I'm struggling without you with this song Help me see what's wrong If I'm running out of time If you pull ahead while I'm picking up the rear If I throw the race out of fear Help me from there to here If I'm falling out of touch If the effort seems to much for me to make Show me what's at stake Break the news you've had enough Say the road with me is too rough and hard to steer Point me away if I'm near Blame me for pouring your tears I'm the reason you're Leaving me tired and worse for wear than you were Believe me when I say It's making me shudder to think the role that I played If the words will not come out If I'm struggling without you with this song Help me see what's wrong

about

'Praise Box,' which was written and recorded in six months, documents some of my earliest attempts at songwriting. I had recorded and performed under The Plastic Arts moniker some years before, but when I picked up the task again in earnest to write the songs that would eventually become 'Praise Box,' I hadn't finished a song or performed on stage in four years. Most artists are embarrassed by their early efforts, but I'm confident that the discerning listener will still be able to hear the seeds of what would become the distinguishing features of my later work in here.

credits

released July 31, 2009

Written, performed, and recorded by The Plastic Arts.

These songs were recorded live, without any performance correcting edits.

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M. the Heir Apparent Berkeley, California

This is M.

@thisismxoxo

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